Mood of saying good-bye
Mood of saying good-bye
Pestering the emotion for many years, when he becomes cold and hot sometimes sometimes, my premonition becomes so strong. Perhaps in some day, I will hear about the news that he talked to say good-bye again, if at that time, how am I? Will I think sadly, my dear, do you know I worry very much sometimes?
There is not his news, my uneasiness like this for a long time. On New Year’s Eve, I can’t help phoning him, however, make for several times, first the line is busy, have hit and shut down again. I think he sees the telephone number that I made, shut down?
Think I what perhaps happen so,people can samples gratuitous.
This Spring Festival, I have not gone home. Pass at Suzhou one, it come back home it the too many in one that face when wanting, courage I in the face of. Moreover, I exactly got those things, already completely wounded parents’ heart last year. I prefer a person’s life, quiet and quiet, but there is a afraid silk.
I am unable to tell that kind of feeling in the heart, just I am suddenly the worry which become unusual, I sent messages and said to him, we registered before and after May Day, waited for the reply at last. I,etc. came to reply, solved the doubt in the heart too at last. Reply and let me not do any movement, the answer which I can’t bear for quite a while, he says he can’t marry me. What meaning is this, this means something to me, how I want to face a series of questions that this result produces. It has no mind again that I suddenly become, no longer strong-minded too. Want what expressions it will spend I, what go face mood,
In the afternoon, I reply messages and tell him, I can understand this result, but I can’t bear, I should do one’s utmost to retrieve. But actually I know, this is only a kind of struggle, just look like the person sentenced to death, take the post as how you admit a fault to repent, is that all right to change the result? I know, he gives me a reason to can send me at will, the hard one is questioned, how. He says I will find the happiness, what this one that said was, need to look for happily, that is not happy. The happiness is subjective, objective, how find. Then, has he found the happiness? Is the happiness really looked for?
In these years, I have been waiting, but I have not done any movement close to him, whom I am make great efforts do a good job of one’s own one, pursue the perseverance in the heart, I will make great efforts to appear and surmount one’s own thing among the ordinary life, perhaps I have accomplished, but I have lost. I am diligent because I have been expecting he comes back, what I can bear is more, in order to reduce the pressure of life. Seem now, this extremely funny, absurd idea extremely, the world how can can let you achieve one’s goal easily, existence is cruel, the emotion of the life is cruel too, nobody will wait for you in where it is.
Once, he said he and others are calling my name while blindlying date, I was very moved, so how far ’s branch road does it walk, I turn round eventually, to whom love expect being too much. These years, I make him very tired, I always reply and cover instead instead, unable to make up mind. Because love very much, there is too much worry.
I pieces of reason more than woman of perception, until a lot of people or thing seem too cold and detached in this world, this world lets me not have sense of safety. Perhaps, relate to life with my growth environment when being young, otherwise the younger sister will not talk about my neuropathy either, it is always the too much of the worry of nervousness. People, should press ahead without any hesitation. However, I am afraid too much, afraid parents have fallen ill, I have no money to go medicine, the ones that worried about my darling had not loved me or can’t love me, my diligent life, let them feel I am very fine, I have the ability to deal with a lot of accidents in the life. Perhaps, whom I should make more, otherwise person that I love why can love me.
Will suffer from insomnia once in a while, why suffer from insomnia? I do not know.
I must let, love people of me too tired, otherwise why parents will be sad, the lover will give up.
I know I am too stubborn, I know one’s own shortcoming and weakness. I have been changing, but, have you seen? Different life
It is good too like this, I originally thought, if I could not walk together with him finally, I have no ability, make with chance more too, let me pass in this way, if relative of common customs can tolerate I the behavior, let me disappear, they always can’t be immune to the extreme behavior. Injure parents and lover just, I unable and forgotten, can do little to appear in front of them.
If my true accident, support parents for parents at some money that will be retained these years one day, though is few, this is only what I can only do. I have thought so precisely, just like the final result of he and I, I have thought.
I will still work, because I want to leave more.
I am still expecting, because I am expecting the person that I love comes around to the correct way of thinking.
Reality is still cruel, life is always very difficult if people wish, I only think the person that I love gives me some strength.
People, why live?
I need to realize the meaning of the life persistently.
Please give me some strength, people whom I love.
Please give me a chance, the life that I will be diligent.